The Oscars took place Sunday night under torrential rain so heavy that it threatened to rip through the white tent sheltering the celebrity fabulousness on the red carpet. You'd be excused if you assumed this downpour to be a symbol of the sweeping cultural changes to which the Motion Picture Academy, and Hollywood in general, have failed to fully adapt.

A parade of monied Hollywood A-Listers preached down to the rest of us about equality at this year’s Oscars ceremony all while collecting a $225,000 swag bag.

This year’s swag bag, put together by LA-based Distinctive Assets, came with free cosmetic surgery, a cruise on a luxury yacht, dating services, gold-plated vaping devices, and more, according to reports.

“It’s the highest value we’ve ever put together,” Distinctive Assets founder Lash Fary said.

There comes a time in an actor’s life when they find themselves seated in the Dolby Theater for the 12th consecutive hour, and they are either working on their face of gracious defeat for when their name is not called out as a winner, or they are optimistically going over a victory speech in their head, ensuring they don’t forget this producer or that agent or that grip on stage.