If there’s a genre that’s worn out its welcome, it’s the self-hagiographical tell-all tome by some second-tier Trump administration hack who tries to leverage his track record of failure into a cash advance and some MSNBCNN hits fielding softballs from guys best known for punishing the primate on Zoom calls. How fitting. The latest example is Mark Esper, who would be the worst Secretary of Defense ever if not for the determined competition from the current one. I would not normally name this pompous tool’s ridiculous book, but his title is just too hysterically funny – “A Sacred Oath.” Yeah, he really named it that on purpose – pretentious, self-important, and so utterly DC that you need a heart of stone not to burst into laughter. I won’t link to oathboy’s book, though – instead I’ll link to my new book, which, in stark contrast, is based and will actually be read instead of stuck on a shelf next to the dusty musings of such comparable luminaries as Omarosa and Anonymous.

Even Donald Trump’s greatest defenders have to admit that the president’s personnel record was, well, mixed, veering from astonishingly insightful talent-spotting, as in the cases of National Security Advisor Robert O’Brien and Ambassador Ric Grenell (Full Disclosure: Both are friends) to astonishing missteps like Rex Tillerson, John Bolton, and this Esper chump. Not surprisingly, according to journalists who have had their interns skim his upcoming book, Esper expends a lot of ammunition attacking both O’Brien and Grenell. They would be the guys who merely helped bring peace to the Middle East, solve the Kosovo-Serbia dispute, and get NATO to start carrying its weight – all of which have come in pretty handy lately. In contrast, Esper – who you will not be shocked to learn worked for Raytheon before coming to the Pentagon – is a historical footnote whose Wikipedia page spends a lot of time talking about how he was very focused on welcoming transgender troops. There’s a sign of seriousness. His legacy is decline and pronoun justice.